Heathrow Terminals 2 and 3, TW6 and UB3: the one hotel you can walk to

One hotel stands inside the central area itself, on the ring road between the two terminal buildings, and guests at Terminal 2 reach it on foot rather than by shuttle bus. That is the whole of the walkable list. It is not a beautiful building and it does not need to be: it is the one address at Heathrow where nobody has to find a taxi rank at eleven at night.

The free airport transfer buses cover everything else inside the perimeter, and they run late. They are slower than a car because they call everywhere, but for a guest with no luggage and no hurry they work perfectly well.

North of the fence the hotels line up along the Bath Road: the house at TW6 2AQ behind its screen of trees, then the middle one of the big three, the one with the covered courtyard at its centre and, on the Hayes side, the long-barred four-star. Ten minutes by road from the central terminals, longer on a hotel bus.

Further out, the Cherry Lane house in West Drayton carries a central terminal name and sits fifteen minutes away by road among houses and hedges. It is a quieter night than anything on the strip and a longer transfer in the morning. Neither the row nor the Cherry Lane hotel has any arrangement with this desk.

Central area to the Bath Road: ten minutes by car, twenty five to thirty on a hotel bus that calls at three other doors first. Central area to Terminal 5: ten minutes on the train, longer by road. Central area to Cherry Lane: fifteen minutes by car and no sensible bus at all.

Those are evening figures. At seven in the morning the road numbers grow and the train numbers do not, which is the argument for staying somewhere with a station rather than somewhere with a shuttle.

It starts earlier than a town evening, because the central area keeps airport hours and the kitchens close accordingly. Somebody who knows which ones are still serving at ten is worth more here than a restaurant recommendation would be.

There is no walk to take. That is the honest weakness of the central terminals: the only thing outside is more airport. What they offer instead is that nobody has to move all evening, which suits a guest whose week has gone badly and who would rather not perform through it. Several of the best nights out here never leave a table.

Margo has made a speciality of the hour after you finally leave the terminal, does not flatter, and will propose a better plan than yours if yours is poor. Tina names the Cherry Lane address most often, points out the joke in its name every time she goes, and is very good with a guest who arrived intending to say almost nothing.

Anyone else from the hall will meet you here on the same terms. Tell Hester which terminal you are flying from, not just the hotel: on this side of the airport those are rarely the same answer.

West along the perimeter is Terminal 5, one stop on the train. North over the fence, the Bath Road strip begins with the tree-screened house at TW6 2AQ. North east past Harlington is Hayes, eight minutes on the Elizabeth line and a good deal cheaper. Terminal 4 sits south on its own loop, and the whole ring is laid out on the perimeter page.